Hi Mr. Poker Face

My dearest crush,            

            “Hi! Hello!”That’s how I always start our conversation right? Let me start this letter with those lines also.             

             Hi Jordan! How are you? Me? I’m convincing myself to be fine. Last September 28, 2012, I watched you dancing the Gangnam Style and you made it well. I just kept staring at you while you’re dancing. I don’t know why but that’s my mind told me. I just kept on shouting “JORDAN ANG GALING MO, CRUSH NA KITA”. My friends are looking at me and I can see in their eyes that they also like the way you dance. At first I can’t believe that you did that but what is impossible there? You made it good with your poker face.            

             Days passed and I just kept this feelings inside my important organ that pumps blood and made up of muscles, that's my heart. I have a crush on you. I told you that before and you told me that its okay for you. One day, I changed my profile picture and you chatted me and you said that I have a nice profile picture and I looked beautiful there. OMG! It made me twitterpated. There’s a message from my heart that was sent to my brain and that message said that maybe you also have a crush on me. Why so assuming Mika? That’s my friend told me. I’m chatting you everyday. I kept asking how are you because I’m concern with you. I kept asking if you have assignments and if you finished them all because I’m concern with you. I kept asking you everyday if you already eat your dinner because its all about my concern with you. I kept sending you smileys because I want you to smile even though I can’t see it the important thing there is I can make you smile even in simple chat and a typewritten then converted smileys. I know those concerns and smileys are not materialistic but I just want to express how I crush you.

              Last October 18, 2012, you ignored one of my birthday wish. It’s okay for me because why would I make it as my birthday wish if I know that its impossible that you and I will have a picture together. That ignorance made me sad and that sadness made me cry. I was like being trapped alone in the darkest abyss with a sword pierced through my heart. This broken heart is silent, it can't be seen but the blood bleeds inside. I don’t know maybe you will think that I’m so over acting but that is based from my feelings. I’m waiting for you to greet me personally and even in chat. I waited for nothing. Tears poured against my dry pale cheeks because I expected too much. Too much expectation leads to disappointment. But don’t worry I’m not mad of you and you know what? I’m convincing myself that it’s okay and I told myself that there is other time but is there really next time? I accepted it all and I kept telling myself that I will stop dreaming, pretending and assuming for nothing but you know what? There’s a place in my heart saying that I should not stop but why would I not stop? Is there any reason that will convince my heart who lose hope in too much expectations to continue what did I start? It’s all my fault and I admitted it all so please shut up.
            

              I just want to say thank you because you made me realized that not all things are possible and you made me inspired everyday I saw your poker face but that poker face and your undefined identity? I like them very much and that undefined identity let me face the reality and to know the truth I guess you know what I'm talking about. God bless and always take care. Be happy in all thing that you are doing in every person.

From your former admirer,

Mika